This is the line of one of my friends that read the previous articles. He had a reserved smile, of raised expectations, maybe I’m not wrong when saying of high trust that I can “attack” tough topics (death, terminal illness), those which are only whispered, certainly not discussed openly with all their subtleties. But I didn’t find many persons willing to discuss openly about emotions either, as an example.
The same friend came after a couple of days and told me: “I want to explain a situation to you, please give me an opinion if my self-esteem is low or not. I’ve been struggling for some days but I couldn’t come to a conclusion”. He is divorced, with 2 children, in process to move separately and to build a new life. He has a long road to walk, with a lot of hesitation, steps, decisions, afterthoughts and a lot of energy to decide which the best way is and how to take it.
He went to a speed dating event and met a woman he was interested in. He wasn’t supposed to interact with her, but he made the first step, the woman was interested too and they spend the evening together. It was the first time when he was trying to build a new social life and meet new women. “I don’t understand. I really thought I have a lot of confidence in me, you know I agreed with you when you told me I am arrogant. But after that evening, I just felt my self-esteem hitting the ceiling! How can this happen, when I thought it was already there?!”
You don’t have to handle only dramatic life experiences with a psychologist or a friend with studies in psychology. All big changes in life, wanted or not, will be managed gradually. Not all steps are meant to require all your efforts and energy so you would feel you solved the issue. Designing and making a building has also simple actions, important but not so complex. In a similar manner, building a new life has simple actions too, like understanding something about yourself.